My daughter's silence

Cerpen ☺,

Mother what is not in doubt, anxiety and panic to see her son who are increasingly turned into a figure very quiet child. Maybe at first look normal, because a child growing up will definitely experience times people say times "troubled". But it is not only worried me even I am grateful because  daughter now turned into a princess gentler and more shut himself by beginning to use the clothes are taught in Islam.
It all started when one day I saw my daughter quietly and alone in the room, even when I asked her to leave the house he or she always refused on the grounds that it is assured "Sorry bun, I was working on task", suddenly I do not dare to disturb my daughter who indeed is reading a book. By nightfall I reminded her and invited her to dinner
"Son, mother've made your favorite soup, let's eat first with the same father ..." Ask me to him
"Sorry, mother same father ate first course, later the Princess catch up ya bun" he replied in a tone that was very lethargic.
"Loh ... child mother why? lethargic once? ... "I asked worried,
"No bun, I'm fine ...." And he said, while giving a smile that convinced me.
And finally I left my daughter who is currently busy with a laptop in front of him. Initially I trust and believe that this is indeed the daughter okay, maybe this time he does need to be alone and make calmhimself.
Every day I'm getting confused with the attitude of my daughter who became a recluse. Usually when he went to college he was always a lot of exchange of views with his father at the dinner table, now he was always quiet and does not talk much, usually even he is always telling us things and activities he did in college, but this time he did not tell what any college or any of the activities which he did. Again - again I think that my daughter is indeed in a state that is fine and if there is a problem it will certainly tell me or his father.
Until one night around 02:30 when I want to run tahajudku worship, I saw my daughter being ablutions, indeed when I deliberately did not reprimand him and just see it from my bedroom door. Hearts happy and very grateful because God has changed and opened my heart to be able to practice tahajud at night. I continued to run tahajud worship me, when I finish tahajudku I decided to see my daughter again whether she continues her or not. Subhanallah heart rages see my daughter praying in tears and sobs. Yes God is now my belief collapsed see  daughter crying with sobs, it turns out I was wrong this time my daughter was having problems, O God where the mother bear to see her daughter prayed as she shed tears with crying that is so heartbreaking. I am sad, very sad to see my daughter's carefree daughter is now a silent even cover all that happened to her.

the day when my daughter will go to college I tried to ask what was happening to him

"Daughter, Mother would ask the daughter ..." I asked him, but my daughter is only turned with a look that seemed empty and confused

"What daughter alright?" I asked again, he looked at me with a puzzled look and a little longer to answer my question

"I'm fine bun", he replied with a smile a rather sluggish. "If there is anything the princess always a story to the mother or the father, why now plasticity ga ever tell you?" I asked again.

"Because there's nothing to me to tell bun" replied with a smile, then she quickly stood up and said goodbye to go to college. The more wonder and increasingly concerned with my daughter, who changed his attitude made me feel more and more confused by what was happening to him.

When I was tidying his room I saw a little book open on the table to learn my daughter, in which there are writings and looks a little water spots whether it's water that comes out of nowhere, I tried to read the contents of the text.

Dear Diary ...

Already 1 week I try not to be for police, I'm great right ..., although there were frequent cries every day. It is also a day to 65 I did not communicate with him, even he was not at all in touch. This time I will continue to try to avoid and not to stay away and cut ties silahturahmi, but I want to slightly reduce the pain in my heart, I did not want to continue to be a burden for him. Right now I see she is so happy with her new life without me, and here I try to re-widen the smile and try to forget what happened. I'm sure I could handle everything myself because I know God is always with me, and Allah will not give a trial in the limits of the servants ......... ..

Diary, in fact I miss her, but somehow she missed me or not. Is she still remembers the words that I always say that "I'm afraid to lose you" he would still remember what happened, he would still remember all the promises he never said and never I say. Until now I still keep well everything, but there was nothing else I could do but pray and complained to God, praying that there he could be a better person and more responsible. I promised here I'll learn to be a better woman again. I'm sure I could and strong cover all of it from someone else, I promise .....

Reading all this makes me more and more irregular, daughter being experienced periods of teenagers known as upset, but why is times like this what makes it like this?, Mothers which was anxious to see his son become like this? What the truth is hidden? , What actually happened to my daughter ??.
"O Allah, give guidence, what actually happen. Do not you let my daughter linger saddened by the circumstances that occurred at this time, O God ... "I said to myself.
think in my mind to buy a new shirt that might be able to make my daughter a little bit happy, I quickly go to a regular store that I go along with the manjaku daughter.
When my daughter got home, I rushed give it to her shirt.
"Assalamu'alaikum .." the daughter said as he entered the house.
"Wa'alaikumsalam .... His daughter's mother had gone home yes ... "I said, clutching the daughter's body, it wants to shed tears really wanted to ask what he was experiencing at this time that I could not feel the happiness that usually always he has shown.
"Daughter, mother had something to Princess" I said, showing my parcel clothes that are bought in advance.
"What's bun ...? "Tanya's daughter to me, as he opened the parcel.
"Whoa ... nice bun, I like .. Thank mom .." He said as he hugged me.
"Equally dear ... If there are any stories of daughter to mother, the daughter of a story already familiar to the mother or the father. Whatever daughter wanted while his father and mother were able, God willing, will be fulfilled dear .. "I said, hugging him back.
"Mother of calm, the daughter is now fine bun, daughter just takes time. Daughter dear mother and father "He said with a tone that is so sluggish. I ventured to ask too deep on my daughter, I try to find the right time.
I'm trying to be patient and pray, let daughter like this, I just wanted to see if there are other changes that happened to my daughter. Every day I always take my daughter, the day I increasingly feel that the daughter manjaku increasingly become someone who is covered and reserved. Nothing should he tell me after classes as usual. Return to college back in silence in the room, who knows what is usually done by him.
One day when my daughter back to college, I saw her cry, without greeting the time of entry into the house, he passed into the room and locked it from the inside. I tried to knock on her door, but she did not give an answer. The more upset this careful, sicker see my daughter now always be the daughter of gloom and unceasing. I can not stand watching my daughter to be like this, I decided to talk slowly. When night I saw my daughter's room door was closed and locked, I was worried because my daughter had not eaten since the previous lecture return
"Dear daughter, son open the door, get out here boy" I said, knocking on his door was locked, but there is absolutely no answer from within
"Putri..Bunda want to go dear .." I said back
"Sorry bun, like his own daughter first" was the reply from inside the room.
"But the daughter had not eaten from home the previous lecture, let my son get out .." Again, my words were ignored by him
"Women do not pity ya same mother ...?" I asked back, still standing in front of my daughter's room locked.
"Forgive me mother, but really I want time alone bun" he replied with sobs I heard from outside. There's nothing I can do but wait for him to come out from the room, I'm not used to scold and force this manjaku daughter.
"Well .. If you call mother daughter ah yes dear" I said back.
I was waiting for a call from my daughter's lips, but never heard. 2 to 3 hours I waited for the right call never heard that call. Increasingly worried and restless heart is, concerned with the daughter

"Mother looked nervous at all?" Asked my husband
"Mother concerned about the well's daughter, mother daughter afraid .."
"Mother istigfar, God willing, our daughter was fine, currently does he need his own bun, later certainly brightened again .." replied my husband tried to calm my mind.
I tried to calm myself by laying down and closed my eyes and intend to 1/3 turn my night to beg and ask for help to God. I devote all my heart, my worries on my daughter, my daughter child anxiety. Swift stream of tears, can not afford to see my daughter now turned into silent just like that, what actually happened, I do not usually see my daughter in a sad during this time. When the end I prayed, I heard the sound of crying and yes ... I'm sure it was the sound of crying daughter. I rushed towards my daughter's room. Arriving in my daughter's room, I saw he was crying on the prayer rug wonderful it was, my heart could not bear to hear the cries of those days, do what he felt at this time moved on me, so I felt that what he experienced.
"Mother ..." says my daughter and immediately hugged me tightly.
"Mother forgive Princess, Princess do not intend to make the mother and father worried, Princess one bun ..." He said, crying and tightened his embrace. Unable to my heart to see my daughter cry, where the mother bear to see her cry panting hug. Slowly I tried to ask him what really happened.
"Daughter ... Mother would not force the daughter to answer any questions the mother, the mother was worried because the late Princess changed. Mother was always cheerful child, if there is a problem no matter how small is always a story to the mother or the father. But lately daughter so quiet, and seemed even trying to hide something. "I said as I wiped the tears in her cheeks.
"Mother forgive Princess, daughter of the same one many mothers. sorrymother daughter ... "Tears my son back.
"Women not wrong dear ... .. Anyway if the daughter of one, the mother will always forgive dear daughter. Now try to mother daughter story, why daughter like this? What mother or father no wrong at daughter? "I asked back.
My daughter just kept crying and trying to get the words out of his mouth and tried to stifle a sob.
"Mother ..., if you know it will be like a princess, the daughter does not want to take a step like this bun ..." The voice that came from his lips as he continued to hold back the sobs.
"I mean what kid Princess? Mother still do not understand you mean .. "I asked that they lay with words that my daughter said.
"Princess upset mom ..." He answered with cries of increasingly sob.
Whether I should laugh or sad to see the answer to this son. I tried hugged him tightly and tried to give him enter.
"Unfortunately ... it was reasonable troubled by the mother. Because you're a teenager, you too are heading towards adulthood times tables. Children's mother had a great turn out .. "I said, smiling and wiping the tears falling on my daughter's cheek.

"But I'm upset acute mom .." He said again.
"Yes you acute confusion, it's been months you're like this. Until the mother confused what to do ". My daughter was silent and still crying.
"Princess .. first mother also never really experienced what natural daughter today. But the mother does not go on in sadness. First father and mother did not "going out" the rich are now more trend "LDR" same .father just mother just friends, friends who remind each other. But when the mother knows that the father had to be educated in the neighboring country, the mother felt sad all. Mother thought it was only mother who feels sad, it turned out the father was also sad to be friends remotely with the mother ".
"Loh where the mother knows that the father also sad?" Asked my daughter.
"Naah that he, first time father moved to the neighboring country. At the mother's father did not touch even communication. But mother always prayed there father was given the safety and protection given by God. When the mother miss the same father, mother just pray and confide to God. Initially the mother just felt that the father and mother was just a casual friend, but the longer the mother really felt strange so. Finally the mother realized that somehow God entrusts to your father's feelings. But again the mother just pray and surrender, because the mother does not know how your father at the time. Maybe dad already had close friends there. Or maybe your father already has a wonderful plan there. Mother kept forward of the mother, the mother must stay focused with lectures mother. Although sad but should still run it the mother of the mother and should not give up just because the feeling that the natural mother. But after seven years of separation, God finally brought us together without planned. When the mother was out with friends the foundation for the social event. Suddenly there was a man who called the mother of the back she said that if there is a friend who wants to meet with the mother. Mother suddenly surprised that wants to meet with the mother that your father put. At that time the mother can not speak. Mother was silent with his eyes teary, mothers do not think it turned out diacara baksos that mothers can go back to your father tertemu son. At that time the feeling that mothers withhold reappear the next time you see a father present in front of the mother. The more the relationship and communication father and mother the better, until one day your father took mother walks with friends the other and when it was the father says "Anna Uhibukki fillah" to the mother in front of all the other friends. Mother sad then, is whether the results of prayer that the mother received so far. It kah path of God's love? This kah mate that God gave to the mother?. With bold and pure intention, father and grandfather grandmother came to the house of the elderly mother to woo mothers. When the mother was surprised and still confused as to what the true and real that when this happens. Until finally the mother and father are united in the knot. That was honey, God always hears the prayers of each of his servants. God knows the best for his servants, as long as we want to be patient and pray that God will give you the best way for his servant. "My story is long on my daughter and unwittingly tears falling down my cheeks, and my daughter tried to remove my tears.

"I want to be like the father and mother" said daughter.
I can only smile.
"I remember the same promises he bun .." she said, crying back
"Man was indeed the wrong place, humans can only plan but only God who willed kid. For example, the mother of the same promise daughter, mother daughter promise to take away umra together with other families, but one day before we departed Umrah together suddenly the same mother at the first call of God, it is how? Mother to daughter promise can not be fulfilled, right? couse it already will of God son. God determines everything "

" mother said so anyway aaaaaaa mom" Tanya's daughter tearfully back.
"honey was the only instance only. At any time in the call of God we must be ready honey "I affirm
"Houses, never chance son, if he dating you, he'll come back and keep all its promises to you. But if Allah wills others, surely God will give you much better than that person. God is infinite justice, son. The good daughter attending college while patient focus and improve themselves daughter. Mother happy tablets now look more elegant daughter because the daughter is more often used the robe now and look more beautiful princess. "I said back.

"But bun, what if one's daughter's daughter have a greater sense of others?"
"No, son, but you have to remember there is still God's son, we as servants should be more affectionate and in love with God. Because only in Allah we ask and beg something son. And do not forget dear father and mother, "I replied.
"Yeah bun, daughter knows. Princess also really love your father and mother, no father and mother's daughter will not be able to live like this "he said.
"Then do not be sad daughter again yes, then mothers sad" I said back
"Yes mother, daughter sorry ... because of the daughter, the father and mother so confused and so worried. Princess appointment, the daughter will continue to pray to God and will keep the spirit for the sake of your father and mother. "She said as she hugged him tightly.


Every day I see he tried again smiled back as usual. Although sometimes I still see him often moody himself in his bedroom or dining table. But I'll keep trying to make it back into a princess as happy as usual. O Allah, help me to be a mother who is able to make her son did not grieve back and be my daughter who normally. Aamiin .........